I'm gonna die.
Today I decided to get super nasty and I sat on the Stratosphere. Well, not really, but I DID go on all of it’s thrill rides. And then I gave it a thrill ride of my own, if you know what I mean. I think INSANITY (pictured to the left) was the scariest of the three rides. I had to throw my underwear out once off the ride. It was such a pain. Sans panties, I got chaffing from my jeans walking on the strip after that.
Apart from the sharting, I’m happy my shit-faced ass didn’t puke on any of the rides. Although, I did burp up a few seafood buffet mixed with cheap margarita tasting juices into the back of my throat a few times. Note to self: no seafood buffet before going on extreme rides. How is my drunk ass supposed to make smart decisions like that though when I’m in Vegas? I can’t have the beauty and the brains all at the same time. Well, actually since I do have the beauty of a giraffe and the vocal range of a hyena, maybe I should have a few more brains mixed in with this safari mess. But whatevs, I’m just being Miley. Kisses!
[...] shart, but she lived to tell her 2 million+ Twitter followers about it! While I can TOTALLY relate, I think this is a bit TMI for an old lady. Seriously, whoever taught this woman how to use urban [...]