Category Archives: (S)He’s a Biiitch

Who Posed It Better?

Who Posed it Better: D-Nast or The Real Housewives of NYC’s Sonja Morgan

If you’re a fan of RHONY like I am, then you too love yourself some drunken Sonja “I have a taste for luxury and luxury has a taste for me” Morgan.

Which is why I was sooooo delighted to discover this week that bitch stole my twitter profile look for her own. This was EXACTLY what I wanted for my b-day! Love you Sonja <3

Girl def looks ferosh, but you be the judge, who posed it better?

Who posed it better?

Who posed it better?

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Bitch is Back!

D-Nast is back

Daddy’s here!

After 4 months of jerking off, D-Nast is finally back! And I’m so sorry I ever went away!

Sadly, I’ve been preoccupied by a variety of personal reasons: 

But now that I’m back, you needn’t worry about getting the latest dish on: 

That’s right, I’m back and I’m back with a vengeance …2013 is gonna be one fantabulous year! Hee-haw!!

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Ramona Singer Retweets D-Nast!

Everyone knows I love to get shitfaced just as much as everyone knows I love me some Real Housewives of New York City. Well, then you’ll all be happy to know that I got especially shitty this weekend off of some Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio! Of course, I felt the need to share my turtle time with my favorite housewife and in return RAMONA SINGER F’N RETWEETED ME! Chica also commented on the setting of my backyard patio: “love the setting!”

Ramona you just made my life. Cheers to you, betch!

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Real, Gratuitous Housewives of NYC

There’s a teaser video floating around for my fave show, Real Housewives of NYC, where self-obsessive Heather “My success is built on making women look and feel their best. HOLLA!” Thomson, founder of shapewear line Yummie Tummies, forces all of her sales reps and the other housewives ladies to go around a table, stand up and say why they love her brand. At a dinner party. On camera. For real. Click here to watch the video.

Uhhhh…is this her idea of a fun ice-breaker activity? Girlfriend is fucking CRAY. Let’s not forget that Miss Heather uses herself as a model and touts her Housewives status on the Yummie website.

She’s essentially using the show to promote her Spanx totally different-than-Spanx proprietary line and apparently it’s working because they mention that shit in every episode! Good for you for landing all that free advertising girl. You still have crazy eyes though. “HOLLA.”

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D-Nast Judges The X-Factor

Intern Kay and I pose for the paps at The X-Factor taping in Providence, RI

Happy Sunday kittens! Hopefully you’re drinking the day away like me, in denial that tomorrow is Monday! Anyways, I wanted to fill you all in about my Friday night visit to Rhode Island to see a taping of The X-Factor, a singing competition reality show starring Simon Cowell, L.A. Reid, Demi Lovato and BRITNEY SPEARS as judges. Yes, I said Britney and I hope you jizzed as much as I did at the thought of seeing America’s favorite pop princess in person.

The D-Nast dream team (me, Smash and intern Kay) headed down to Providence on Friday afternoon after cutting out of work early. We decided to pre-party at my favorite trashy restaurant/barcade, Dave & Busters. The tables were sticky, but it was worth it because daddy loves himself some sliders and buffalo wings! Plus, we got to make complete asses of ourselves playing arcade games.What’s not to love?

Then it was time for the action. We trotted across the street and waited in a hot, sweaty line of tween girls and closeted gays to file into the arena. The taping was emcee’d by some douchebag who used to host a show that aired at 3 a.m. called Street Smarts. He was lame and his jokes weren’t funny but the dumb tweens in the house ate it up when he played One Direction.

As for the judges, here are my observations:

  • Simon – just as crochety and lame as you’d expect him to be
  • L.A. Reid – dressed in a suit and kind of boring, but sometimes he brought the sass
  • Britney – Poor girl must be seriously depressed or on some conflicting meds because she could barely formulate a sentence, even though she was supposed to be giving feedback to the contestants. Her fiance/manager/robot controller (Jason Trawick), kept coming over to her during breaks to feed her lines in her ear. It was sad. I wish Brit Brit could be the fierce diva that America wants her to be.
  • Demi Lovato – Uber bitch! I was honestly disappointed with her. You know I love me some Demi but she was really mean to somemost of the contestants and she didn’t articulate herself very well. It’ll be interesting to see how they edit her on the show.

    Demi was a tad rude for my liking.

The contestants were mostly alright, but there was some serious stand-out talent that I cannot wait to see on TV, including:

  • An adorable school nurse rapper named “Miss Graphic.”
  • A 13-year-old girl with the most soulful voice ever who sang Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” …it escapes me (too many drugs), but her name was Carly something.
  • A crazy young country-style chick who sang Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats,” with a cracked-out emphasis on the line, “I’M DRUNK.” Homegirl was like, 12.
  • Jillian Jensen, who got a standing ovation from all 4 judges (and who made Demi cry with her touching performance and talk about combating bullies).

Strong female leads all around! All in all it was a fun time.  Listen to this week’s D-Nast Radio episode for a full recap of the experience. What’d you do this weekend, D-Nasters?

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Amanda Bynes Goes Even Further Off the Deep End

Amanda Bynes reminded us just how delusional and self-obsessed celebrities are yesterday when she tweeted a plea at President Barack Obama, maintaing her innocence from her alleged DUI in West Hollywood back in April. She asked President Obama via Twitter to fire the cop who arrested her, as if he’s got nothing better to do than intervene in the lives of D-list celebrities. What a hot mess.

Amanda sweetie, maybe you should let your lawyers/publicists/AA sponsors do the talking for you. THE END.

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F*ck my baby, it’s 420!

A marijuana-smoking woman cray-cray betch was arrested on Saturday in Phoenix, Arizona after she accidentally dumbass-edly drove away with her five-week-old son in a child safety seat on the  roof of her car, according to The Huffington Post.

The baby fell off the car in the middle of an intersection and was luckily found unharmed and strapped into the seat, said Phoenix police.

The mother, Casey Anthony Catalina Clouser, 19, was booked into jail on child abuse and aggravated assault charges.  As for the infant, that baby is SOL if Child Protective Services doesn’t keep mommy away.

I hope someone in Phoenix sticks their foot far up Catalina’s ass.

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Daddy Anderson Cooper Schools Bigoted Bitch

This chick needs to write a book filled with all of her well-thought out and perfectly articulated arguments.

“And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs …and the homosexuals” -MEAN GIRLS

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Rihanna Puts the Crazy in Role Model

Dolla dolla bill ya’ll!

Girl is on fire lately! And D-Nast is loving it. The singer hit up a strip club Tuesday night and tweeted some raunch to her over 18 million followers. Role model schmole model.

“I don’t give a F*CK. Does it look like I give a F*CK? Cause I DON’T!” -New York from Flavor of Love season 2.

“Best stress reliever = $tripper$. Kill it Tip it #Cake,” Rihanna tweeted. An hour later she posted a photo in which she’s throwing money at a pair of women who are simulating oral sex eating at the Y. Hahahaha. RiRi certainly knows how to party. I hope she tipped those ladies well.

“#ROCstarshit my daddy would be proud,” -Rihanna tweet

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