Thank god for 11 year-old singer/songwriter Harper Gruzins from Texas. My ears have never been so happy and I’ve never felt more pride for my country.
Take a listen to her lovely interesting hair-splitting rendition of our National Anthem. Your ears will not regret it. Maybe.
Listen now as Harper Gruzins destroys the National Anthem.
There are no words. Just listen.
OMG geeks gone wild! This video is a must watch for anyone that’s …well, for anyone. Boy acts like he he’s on an episode of Oprah’s Favorite Things. Watch and laugh as fifteen-year-old Jack Andraka wins $75,000 for his work with pancreatic cancer early detection. …I love how even the other nerds on stage are like “Bitch, calm down.”
I’ve got two words for you Jack: CALL ME.
Watch Harvard’s baseball team take on Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe.“
There are no words. Just DO ME! Give me your damn numbers and I’ll totes call you! No maybes about it. It’s a DEFINITE call. Give me your damn number! Now.
Well, it beats the beer shits.
The Boston Drinkathon is underway and many seasoned drinkers, having trained for months, are already halfway through their pub crawl to Copley Square. I like how there’s only 27,000 runners registered for the marathon, but there’s literally 800,000 people in downtown Boston getting shit-faced right now. Really shows you what our New England priorities are. I actually decided to pace myself this year and have opted for a more runner-friendly drink like Grey Goose & Gatorade.
Sadly, this year’s insane 90 degree heat is already taking a toll on the runners. I’m just sitting here taking shooters and I’m already sweating in weird places. My wenis has never been so chaffed and irritated from overexertion before. Lifting all these drinks up to my face is super grueling work on my elbow.
Runners: Keep up the good work!
Drinkers: Stay hydrated.
25-year-old Zeddie Little of New York, ran a 10k race in Charleston, S.C. and one well-timed mid-race pic turned him into a viral phenomenon known as “Really Photogenic Guy.” Nearly 1.4 million people have viewed the picture in recent days on Flickr and it has been uploaded countless times to social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. Ugh, jealous!
Boy certainly knows how to find the light. Has he studied America’s Next Top Model as much as I have? Usually, my candid race photos look like a dying giraffe squirming to find water after just vomiting, and there’s at least a gallon of sweat waterfall-ing off my face at any given second. Zeddie looks fierce. Hopefully, he’s received the thousands of Facebook messages I’ve sent his sweet ass since this pic went viral. And hopefully he’ll take me up on that date sex offer. Do Me, Zeddie! Also, what kind of hair product do you use?
No, I’m not talking about the movie starring Hollywood Heartthrob, Jonah Hill.
It’s been a very active but exhausting weekend for the D-Nast posse. Last night I enjoyed one of the most fun activities Boston has to offer: a key party! watching the BU men’s hockey team work out! an indoor trampoline park! SkyZone is the equivalent of an adult playground complete with giant trampolines, pizza and soda. Sounds crazy, but it was the most fun I’ve had in years days! And it only required one Four Loko to get me excited. It was a damn good workout too. You know I worked my hammies and glutes with every bounce. I was literally bouncing off the walls like the crazies sluts in this photo. I felt 19 again! And by that I mean I felt my actual age: 19.
And as if I didn’t work up enough of a sweat on those tramps, today I ran a 5K. I’ll hold for applause…K, done? Ok good.
It was worth the sweat and tears, because I ran straight from the finish line to Redbones, where we got a complimentary pulled pork sandwich and cold beer. Amazing!
What did my loyal followers do this weekend? Tell me a funny story.
That’s right. The college basketball tournaments are here and my crotch couldn’t be happier. Little D-Nast is ready to watch some balls rim the hoop. Apart from the hunky young men running around with their dongs flopping around in shorts, I actually really do enjoy March Madness. I completed my bracket today and have North Carolina going all the way this year with me in the back seat of a bus (train-style).
I love any excuse to gamble. The first year I completed a bracket I actually won. I based all my picks on the attractiveness level of each school playing. Best hundred bucks I ever did earn. This year I thought I’d mix things up a bit. I decided to divide each team’s average height by three, then times that number by their average shoe size to guesstimate the most well-endowed team. Team with the biggest dong average wins. Mmmh! Let the madness begin.
