Category Archives: Where’s D-Nast

No Beyonce? Solange for your birthday!

SolangeFor a gay’s 29th 25th special day there’s only one thing he could possibly want: Beyonce. That hair, those moves, that strut. Unfortunately for me, Diva’s not in town for February 19, 2013. So I did what any self-respecting/desperate gay would do, I bought tickets to go see Solange. That’s right, Daddy’s getting close to the Knowles’ DNA tonight at Paradise Rock Club in Boston.

Now Solange is certainly no Mrs. Carter, but to give credit where credit’s due she has established herself as more relevant than Michelle Williams in recent years. So girl should be proud.

No, all kidding aside, Solange has actually developed quite the delicious indie music career. And if you don’t believe me then check out her 2008 songs I Decided and Sandcastle Disco for yourself. In fact, I’m actually super excited to see the younger Knowles tonight, especially to hear her perform new single, Losing You, which was featured on the season 2 premiere of (D-Nast’s new favorite show) HBO’s Girls.

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Bitch is Back!

D-Nast is back

Daddy’s here!

After 4 months of jerking off, D-Nast is finally back! And I’m so sorry I ever went away!

Sadly, I’ve been preoccupied by a variety of personal reasons: 

But now that I’m back, you needn’t worry about getting the latest dish on: 

That’s right, I’m back and I’m back with a vengeance …2013 is gonna be one fantabulous year! Hee-haw!!

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Funny Boats of Chicago

D-Nast was in Chicago recently and besides spending most of my time eating deep dish pizza and some deep dish ass in Boystown, I couldn’t help but notice how funny most of the boats of Chi-town were. Check out some of my inappropriate favs below.

  1. There was the seadog (aka Daddy’s favorite little juicer, the sem-dog).
  2. The Anita Dee II (You know what? I NEED a D too! I do! I’d love to S a big old D right about now).
  3. And lastly, there was the sad little river cruiser with the arrow sign saying “Welcome, American Girls.” (Date rape’s this way ladies, hop right on!) P.S. Aren’t we in America?
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One Sick Daddy

Hey my fellow dick breaths, I just want to apologize for the lack of D-Nast posts lately. I’ve been rotten ill with the summer cold from hell. Daddy can’t even lift his head to put on chapstick. It’s miserable. I blame it on all the nasty partying and day drinking I did this past weekend. Oops. What do you expect when my BFF is in town from Los Angeles?  I had to show her a good time …therefore, that meant we went to Boston’s divey-est titty bar, the Glass Slipper. Not only did we have a blast (and a few sem-dogs), but we saw and studied a shit ton of snatch …so I guess it was worth it.

Anyways, I’m trying to rest up for my trip to Chicago this weekend where I hope to give the “windy city” some competition with my breezy asshole. Chi-town will certainly get Daddy into a few sticky situations worth sharing to the world so stay tuned.

In the meantime, watch this video and see how much I wish I had a dog just like this to soothe my illness away.

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D-Nast Tweet Featured on E!’s Fashion Police!

Holy fuck balls! I can’t believe it. My stupid little Katie Holmes tweet was featured on the episode of Fashion Police last night on E! …And they even retweeted me! Dreams do come true people. Fashion Police this week, next week I’ll be Mrs. Ryan Gosling. Mmmmh!!!

So happy that the old washed-up beef-curtain supreme, Joan Rivers, recognizes a good tweet when she sees one.

P.S. Kelly Osbourne call me (maybe) and share your purple hair secret. Daddy needs to be eggplant-chic too.

My tweet on the 7/13/12 Episode of E!’s Fashion Police. Eat me, Joan Rivers!

The show re-tweeted me too!

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A Very Gay July!

Been very very busy my friends! I’ve been around town doing, well you know, being gay. Last weekend I got my Fourth of July partying started early with my good friend Smashley.  The paps spotted us all over the place. On Sunday we visited the SoWa Open Market in the South End where I harassed some Asian cake truck (Cakeology) and played cornhole (not the dirty version, but the actual game).

Then on the actual 4th we saw that shit show of a film, Ted. Which was slightly disappointing because the scene I was an extra in was brutally cut from the film like Seth MacFarlane’s foreskin. After that disappointment I basically spent the rest of the day guzzling Harpoons and housing a couple bowls of guacamole. Let me just say, that combination was not a pretty sight the next morning.

Then this past weekend, Smashley and I, took a drive up to lil old Maine for an 80s Booze Cruise on the Casco Bay. We stayed at a friend’s place where I got dry humped and 69′d by an overly horny mutt and Smashley spent her time hidden in the back bedroom with her copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Slut.

While in Maine we also went on a hunt for the ultimate Whoopie Pie …which we found at Two Fat Cats (best name ever). By the way, the true key to my heart is through an old fashioned Maine Whoopie Pie. I ate three.

And since I can’t stay ten minutes away from a beer we also toured the Shipyard Brewery. While on the tour I proceeded to follow around a slew of Maine d-bag do mes and accidentally drenched myself with a dark stout.

P.S. I’m going to buy all my beers in Maine from now on as they’re cheap as fuck up there! On the booze cruise they were 4 for $14. Talk about a cheap slut date.

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D-Nast Judges The X-Factor

Intern Kay and I pose for the paps at The X-Factor taping in Providence, RI

Happy Sunday kittens! Hopefully you’re drinking the day away like me, in denial that tomorrow is Monday! Anyways, I wanted to fill you all in about my Friday night visit to Rhode Island to see a taping of The X-Factor, a singing competition reality show starring Simon Cowell, L.A. Reid, Demi Lovato and BRITNEY SPEARS as judges. Yes, I said Britney and I hope you jizzed as much as I did at the thought of seeing America’s favorite pop princess in person.

The D-Nast dream team (me, Smash and intern Kay) headed down to Providence on Friday afternoon after cutting out of work early. We decided to pre-party at my favorite trashy restaurant/barcade, Dave & Busters. The tables were sticky, but it was worth it because daddy loves himself some sliders and buffalo wings! Plus, we got to make complete asses of ourselves playing arcade games.What’s not to love?

Then it was time for the action. We trotted across the street and waited in a hot, sweaty line of tween girls and closeted gays to file into the arena. The taping was emcee’d by some douchebag who used to host a show that aired at 3 a.m. called Street Smarts. He was lame and his jokes weren’t funny but the dumb tweens in the house ate it up when he played One Direction.

As for the judges, here are my observations:

  • Simon – just as crochety and lame as you’d expect him to be
  • L.A. Reid – dressed in a suit and kind of boring, but sometimes he brought the sass
  • Britney – Poor girl must be seriously depressed or on some conflicting meds because she could barely formulate a sentence, even though she was supposed to be giving feedback to the contestants. Her fiance/manager/robot controller (Jason Trawick), kept coming over to her during breaks to feed her lines in her ear. It was sad. I wish Brit Brit could be the fierce diva that America wants her to be.
  • Demi Lovato – Uber bitch! I was honestly disappointed with her. You know I love me some Demi but she was really mean to somemost of the contestants and she didn’t articulate herself very well. It’ll be interesting to see how they edit her on the show.

    Demi was a tad rude for my liking.

The contestants were mostly alright, but there was some serious stand-out talent that I cannot wait to see on TV, including:

  • An adorable school nurse rapper named “Miss Graphic.”
  • A 13-year-old girl with the most soulful voice ever who sang Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” …it escapes me (too many drugs), but her name was Carly something.
  • A crazy young country-style chick who sang Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats,” with a cracked-out emphasis on the line, “I’M DRUNK.” Homegirl was like, 12.
  • Jillian Jensen, who got a standing ovation from all 4 judges (and who made Demi cry with her touching performance and talk about combating bullies).

Strong female leads all around! All in all it was a fun time.  Listen to this week’s D-Nast Radio episode for a full recap of the experience. What’d you do this weekend, D-Nasters?

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D-Nast is About to Sit on the Tip of Cape Cod

Yay! Provincetown tomorrow… and it’s Baby Dyke Weekend. Hopefully, I won’t be too shit-faced to update ya’ll on how many lesbian fights I see.  Fingers crossed that I’m involved in one of them (for dramatic purposes, of course.)

To get a better idea of what P-town’s like, watch below (The maid, ChoCha, is the best part.)

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This Week …In LA

Getting ready to leave LA now and I couldn’t be more excited about returning to Boston. These bitches wore me out. I had quite the amazing & action-packed weekend. I wish I could have filled ya’ll in more on my sexcapades (I wish!), but daddy was busy drinking. And nobody comes between me and my Beefeater.

LA was its usual self: covered in soot and dirty tampons resting on its sidewalks (see the photo gallery). Which translates to me being overly anxious to head East, take a nice cleansing bubble bath, and get back to reality.

Highlights from the weekend include:

  • Brokechella music fest with some besties. Thanks for a great time James (LADoucheBag) and Erin (La Rosa)!
  • Getting caught in a giant spidersweb (see photo gallery), anxiously awaiting a predator at the Eagle. (The Eagle – every city has one. It’s that super sketchy/last ditch/desperate gay bar you go to at the end of the night for attention. It’s usually full of leather daddies and it’s always called “The Eagle.”)
  • Smelling methane at the La Brea Tar Pits.
  • Eating giant, juicy sausages at Wurstküche (the most delicious place ever!). The word translates to “sausage kitchen,” but ironically sounds like “worst kootchie,” or what I also like to refer to as “bad beaver.” Even funnier, the delish dessert place directly across the street is called The Pie Hole (where I enjoyed a spicy Mexican Chocolate Pie)!
  • Participating in an informational brunch and tour of the Church of Mythology Celebrity Center. As it was a terrifying, terrifying place, reminding me of The Capitol in Panem (cameras and riches EVERYWHERE), I just made up the name “Church of Mythology” whereas to not attract attention to myself for visiting… I swear they’re now following me… But if you switch the word “myth” for “science” and think of Tom Cruise then you may know what I’m talking about. There are two words that I will use to describe this compound: crazy and cult. You can research the rest on your own.
  • CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS for the weekend!
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Sarah Silverman: One New Celeb Friendship Down!

That’s right, D-Nast has only been in LA for a day and I’ve already received a special message from Sarah Silverman! Well, her assistant actually got the autograph for me and I had absolutely no contact with Sarah herself, but same thing, right? We’re total BFFs.

Girl’s such a sweetheart!

Now I’m off to The Grove for some D-Nast promotion and celeb sighting stalking.

P.S. Happy 420! And has anyone told Dave Franco I’m in town yet? Dave, I’m waiting for you! I’m staying at 6969 North La Brea between Santa Monica and Sunset. I’ll leave the door unlocked. xoxo!

“Keep shooting for the stars and then give up and get a day job or kill yourself.”
-Sarah Silverman to D-Nast! 

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