Tag Archives: debut novel

Tyra Quote/Rewrite of the Day

“A tall, striking, lovely woman lipstick lesbian with a round face and brilliant slutty blue eyes burst through two swinging doors at the front of the room. Her legs made an upside-down, bowed-out U, as though she’d jumped off a horse after a long ride fuck. Her arms were extended, as if she were still holding the reins the stallion’s Bojangles. She wore a (dykey) tool belt filled with bright, shiny copper knives, ladles, tongs, and spatulas, and a chef’s apron that had all kinds of food –cobs of corn, veggie sticks, blue corn tortillas balls, and prawns still in their shells with the heads attached –stitched into the fabric.

-Tyra Banks from her debut novel farce, Modelland.

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“Dylan planted her feet. ‘Honey chile, I just been invaded by bacteria, sliced and diced by earrings, stabbed by a monster needle, and had my head imprisoned inside a bubble. I’m not goin’ in there until I know what that whacked-out place is.’”

-Tyra Banks, from her debut novel, Modelland.

(Obviously, Dylan is talking about Tyra’s vajayjay.)

P.S. No rewrites were needed for this quote. Tyra had struck gold with this one.

Tyra Quote/Rewrite of the Day

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Tyra quote/re-write of the day

“Tookie remained very still. He licked his thumb and then brought it to her eyebrow nostril, slowly smoothing the unruly hairs down as he smiled into her mismatched googly eyes. Tookie stared deeply into his caramel ones, and her knees felt like they would buckle. She sensed a gentle burning inside her stomach coslopus, and her hips lips felt like they were being tickled, even though Bravo’s hands were nowhere near them.  Bravo put his hand on the side of Tookie’s face. The warmth from it felt like sweet tea cottage cheese pouring into her mouth. He whispered straight into her ear, his lips brushing against her earlobe cauliflower cluster.”

-Tyra Banks, from her debut novel, Modelland Crazy Made-Up Shit.

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“The De La Creme women did smell; all the Pilgrims smelled like a Peppertown sewer on its foulest of days.  The body odor had gotten worse because of the intense physical labor Richard Simmons workout they had all endured recently.  Creamy had created her own mountain monarchy moonshine after the group had elevated her to the position of secret weapon British Prime Minister to get them to Modelland.”

-Tyra Banks, from her debut novel crazy made-up fairytale, Modelland.

Tyra Quote/Re-write of the Day

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“And then, thwap! More garments shot out of the Scout’s fingers beaver: a one-shouldered, bias-cut burnt-orange chemise coke ring, a maroon eelskin jacket with severe shoulder pads rug burn, a fire-engine-red felt porkpie hat punani, a pair of metal-studded heather-gray ankle boots dildos. It was like they were in a zero gravity department store Thai sex shop.”

-Tyra, from her debut novel autobiography, Modelland.

Tyra Quote/Re-write of the day!

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“Through the mesh wall of the pouch, Tookie Tyra saw a bear-cave-sized hole and peaked in. Sticky, pasty gunk with peach fuzz was lodged inside. She frowned. ‘I think we’re inside an EAR a vajayjay!’”

-Modelland, the debut novel by Tyra Banks.

Tyra Quote of the day

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